[x]

There was a lad named Chaos who live in the North

There was a lad named Chaos who lived upon the north.
Some days upon a bicycle, he would sally forth.
The cat and dog would look at him with a wistful grin,
And sneak into the fridge and fix a Mickey Finn.
“I’ll be so cross without a trout,” Dizzy twitched her tail.
And little Jenny sat and sighed, “Where’s that Russian borzoi boyfriend for me named Mikhail?”
Off he toodled far and wide on his tiny rims,
Mermaids and troll he did search on a mirthful whim.
Down the cliffs he fell and bounced, like a rubber ball,
Luckily he landed on his head to break the spinning fall.
“Curse you, trolls!” he sa

Cake ObsessionThere is a house magnificent
With marble floors and satin drapes;
Yet the owner has a bad temperament
Which twisted his face into ugly shapes.

His life was filled with loneliness
He knew he made a mistake
To prefer work over love
He had missed his mother's cake.

He does little work yet he earns gold;
Yet if you watch his life unfold,
You'll see the pain he had as a child
Because his plans of stealing cake were defiled.

His past was filled with nonstop pain
And seconds passed in sheer disdain
Because his sister stole his cake
And threw it into a murky lake.

Evil plans are strolling his mind
All for the cake, so he could find.
He took the k

Maine: A LimerickMaine: The Land of Snow and Tractors -
where the Shotguns are plenty and the Teeth are few,
where the Men are Men and the Women are too.

Oh Lonely TomatoOh lonely tomato
so juicy, so red
I watched you sit alone
on your cold hard bed
your bed made of marble
a contrasting grey
Oh shiny tomato
i hate to see you this way

You stand out, tomato
amongst the kitchen things
your companion is the "happy mug"
which once thought it had wings
so it flew from the counter
but landed with a crash
and now its edge is chipped
but at least it didnt smash

Oh lonely tomato
you look so red and sweet
I think I'll pick you up
'cause I want something to eat
Oh lonely tomato
now you are no more
and you were too acidic
so you made my belly sore

goodbye tomato
farewell my friend
now you are eaten
and this is the end.

Ways of WalkenThe path of Walken is mysterious.
With many twists and turns.
For there's so much that awaits for you.
Follow me and you will see.

I invented a program.
To bring out your Inner Walken.
It is a simple hypnosis program.
Trigger is cowbell.

Ever wanted to be Walken?
Ever wanted to get over your fear of him?
Then this program is the thing.
The key to curing your Walkenphobia.

But beware.
I must warn you that..
That once you go Walken.
You can't go back.
And you won't be able to.

It is a slippery slope of no return
When to Walken's ways and face you turn.
Your wish will be forever true
You will be Chris and no more you...
Cowbell. Tink Tink T

SteagleSteagle (a parody of Eagle by Abba)

----------------

NOTE:
This song is about Colbert's eagle Stephen Jr.

Stephen Colbert is inspiring, he is swell.
I love hearing the stories that he tells.
He's ever inspiring, he's really clever he is.
Stephen's truthiness is worth listening to.

And there's his mighty eagle
Go Stephen Jr, spread your wings.
Flyin' high, high, a great bird in the sky
That lovely eagle that rides on the breeze
High, high, look at him fly.
With such majesty and might.
And to anywhere that he likes.

Stephen Colbert is the man, he truly is great.
He sees all and knows everything.
Stephen Jr, is an incredible flyer.
Wa

The Story of SalThe Story of Sal
Written by Jack Lotz
Age:18

Once there was a girl named Sal
Who came from the land of Pal
And really liked pots
Everyone always though she was kinda hot
So this is the Story of Sal.

.: Sleep! :.

Sleep, oh wonderful and refreshing sleep,
How skillfully evasive thou can be.
Sleep, oh how I yearn for refreshing sleep,
But thou still refuseth to come to me.
At times I close these tired eyes of mine,
And immediately fall aslumber.
Yet sometimes I start to lose track of time,
And still my wakefulness does not crumble.
I beggingly beseech thee, oh great sleep.
Please do come to rescue me from this woe.
How deeply I yearn for thee, oh great sleep,
My desire for thee continues to grow.
Sleep! What a mighty and powerful name!
Sleep! In lacking thee there's nothing to gain!

The Basket CaseThe Basket Case
Humorous

The white coats are coming now
I hear the clinking of a key
They draw so near that i can hear
I know they are coming for me
My body is aching every day
My mind is tired and stressed
Lock me up in my bedroom
And then we will all be blessed

Minya's just a little tyke....

Atomic monsters breathing fire
Don’t wake them up and rouse their ire.
Minya’s just a little tyke,
Covers miles with a little hike.
Atomic smoke rings are his thing,
Practicing to be the monster king.
Anguirus, Mothra, Rodan, and Manda,
I’ve yet to see a radioactive panda.
Godzilla’s Revenge we will NOT discuss,
Don’t make me mad and start a fuss.
I miss poor Minya, he’s really cute.
To hug him would be a mighty hoot.
But I’d be kinda squished.
Not exactly something you’d have wished.
The Kamacuras are coming near…
…it time to run and hide in fear!

FairiesDew drops have gathered on
Glasses of wine,
Smelling of spring where the
Fairies have dined.
Twilight’s unfriendliness
Scours the trees,
Stealing their dreams in the
Coldness of screams.
Beasts of the shadows now
Clamber ashore
From rivers that demons have
Come from before.
Teeth shine like knives and
Blood is then spilt,
Quenching the thirst of
Lucifer’s hilt….

I thought I’d write
A lovely poem
About some fairies and gnomes,
But this is what happens
When I’m stuck on a weekend at home.

The Cunning Fool- Sweet SurpriseDoubt, doubt, whine and pout
Sore, sore, because you know nothing anymore

Of course, of course, oh, fair, stubborn horse
Love, love, who wouldn’t love thee, fair as a dove?
Screaming, screaming, oh, the brat of which men having been dreaming
Lying, lying, about the things you’ve been buying
Sold, sold, it’s all for the gold
Men, men an army of, in your den

A shock, a shock, he gave you a literal rock
So funny, so funny, who’d actually marry you, honey?
Ciao, ciao, fat, saggy cow

Tis true, tis true, he left you
You lost, you lost, now who was tossed?
Broken, broken, with a chunk of junk as token

Fame, fame, now is t

Bop the CowBop the Cow
Written by Jack Lotz
Age: 11

Once there was a cow named Bop
Who really liked corn on the cop
Once he ate so much corn
That he blew up like a horn
And that was the end of Bop!

Pumpkin LimerickThere once was a happy old man,

Whose favorite pumpkin was smashed by a van.

The driver was sorry and cried very sad.

The old man just laughed and said, “Now don’t feel so bad”

Now it will be pie, all baked in a pan.

La Classe Liberata, Parte 13Giunser in poco alle nevi perenni,
Marco alla guida perché egli la strada
pel rifugio sapeva. Così, indenni,
in una grotta, sguainata la spada,
entraron circospetti: .

Luce scorsero in fondo alla grotta:
era d'un fuoco a una donna vicino
urlò con voce rotta
Marco che riconobbe il volto fino.
Ma la strega iniziò lesta la lotta:
era nascosta dentro un anfrattino
e da lì uscì non appena sentì
il grido con cui Marco si tradì.

Pronti i nostri sguainarono le lame,
Enea anche trasse fuor un pugnale,
per uccider quella donna infame
che era Timiditas, strega del male.
Come fiere che abbiano m

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More from ~thezimchick

Self PortraitDistorted images on rippling glass
Features askew, but they're true
Right? The mind sees what it wants to
Wish my heart could see something better
Staring into twisted mirrors, it's like
Beings inside the funhouse at the circus
But the clowns are inside my head
Dancing, demeaning, screaming, screaming
I can't cover up, it's no use
The tools fail to hide the flaws
Catching my eye, I pause
Freeze. That can't be me
Won't inner beauty one day surface?
Rise up and meet the sunshine
Show itself before time
Takes my hand and starts tugging down
On this fragile skin
You can't win
When you despise your own
Self portrait.

AnatomyI constantly wonder how my heart
Can keep such a perfect beat
When it's been slammed against the floor
And broken under my feet

I constantly wonder how my eyes
Can still see inner beauty
In the people who have shamed my name
As though it were their duty

I constantly wonder how my hands
Can continue to write such poetry
Even when I'm sure my muse
Has completely given up on me

I constantly wonder how my brain
Can calculate and understand
The scientific and obscure
Yet I misinterpret fellow man

How can I even function
How do I even breathe
I can only think to sum it up
As curious anatomy

SnowflakeSnowflake

Today I fell straight from the sky
A chemical reaction from way up high
Trickling through a condensed mist
Then out of pure air I came to exist
I solidified somewhere in the clouds
Falling in sync with surrounding crowds
Of crystals and prisms, each to their own
Swept by the wind, wrapped in a cyclone
Some never made it and disappeared on sight
Evaporated away due to heat and sunlight
Some hit the rooftops, the treetops, the posts
But on my descent I never came close
So faster I fell towards my destination
To snow white ground and settled sensation
But alas, I found myself wavering above
Noticing that I was slowly co

Fall Is My SeasonFall Is My Season

Wear a paper heart on your sleeve
As fragile as the autumn leaves
Crunched beneath the passing feet
Smithereens on the street

Watch the trees conspire a charade
Modeling colors that quickly fade
And not long after this display
They choose to simply fall away

Feel the cold creeping up from behind
Frost-bitten eyes suddenly snow-blind
A shiver in the air indicates that time
Will eventually heal subconscious crime

What once was green now is gray
Empty vibrancy in the light of day
Forgive me for my hollow reason
It seems as though fall is my season

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Funda-mental-s

by ~thezimchick, Oct 26, 2004, 2:38:07 PM
Literature / Poetry / Humor / Traditional Fixed Forms

If it were to rain cats and dogs
Which is impossible, I’m sure
How fast would they be falling
Towards the death that they’d endure?
And since they aren’t falling up
Velocity will be negative
Do you remember what velocity is?
The position function’s derivative!

If one was to be thrown into heaven
Which is hard to do, I believe
How far must one be tossed up?
How much initial force does one need?
This problem is quite ludicrous
How would I obtain such a feat?
Did we even learn this in class?
Next year I’m taking Discrete…

X to the fifty-fourth minus
Ninety-two-X-squared
Find the maximums; it’s on the test
So you better be prepared
Do you know what that requires?
Do you know what that means?
That is one heck of a huge number!
Talk about an extrema’s extreme

Please graph the function given
F of X equals X to the eighth
No graphing calculators allowed!
And here I sit, losing my faith
Study! Study! Study!
No mistakes are accidental!
Pssh.. this class is one mistake
That is starting to drive me mental

Funda-mental-sby ~thezimchick

Literature / Poetry / Humor / Traditional Fixed Forms

©2004-2013 ~thezimchick

....This is how Calculus makes me feel....

~ignorent-gem Nov 27, 2004 Writer

lol i like this one a lot!!! good job! its a definate fav!

Reply

~thezimchick Nov 30, 2004

yay! thankyou

Reply

~Drama-geek-07 Oct 31, 2004

awesome.

Reply

~thezimchick Oct 31, 2004

thanks (yet.. again)

Reply

~ThousandthPaperCrane Oct 29, 2004

This poem is my hero... XD

Reply

~thezimchick Oct 30, 2004

lol, thankyou

also for the +fav

Reply

~Nadezhda Oct 26, 2004

thats great! that is exactly how i feel about math and stuffs. i have to fave this!

Reply

~thezimchick Oct 27, 2004

lol, thankyou

Reply

*GoodnightNovemberEve Oct 26, 2004

lol

this is great!

i

math.... okay, now you can label me insane

Reply

~thezimchick Oct 27, 2004

haha, yeah, i really gotta admit that i love math. i really do. but.. oi.. talk about your brain-fryer, haha. thanks

Reply

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